I’m realizing the things you only learn through personal experience, age, and life. The things that make you, YOU. Vulnerability, man that’s a sucker punch to my gut. Anyone who knows me knows I’m a very open person, I don’t hold back my purpose and life story in fear of what others may say. I don’t view anyone as a stranger. Everyone is a friend I haven’t met yet. But one day it dawned on me that I disguised my fear of being vulnerable with people by actually being vulnerable. If I’m overly open to everyone then I’m not really saying anything new. I’m not having to overcome any new fear of rejection. If they don’t like what I have to say, that’s ok. I don’t hold it close to my heart because it’s not like they know something about me that others don’t...
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And that’s when it hit me. I may not be on the same level as my friends who are older than me. I also may not be on the same level as my friends my age. I’m not supposed to be. I’m not supposed to be on any level other than my own, and the sooner I realized and accepted this, the sooner I would be able to focus on “me" and where I was going.
It wasn’t easy, and it still isn’t. Sometimes I look at friends and say, “Ah man, I wish I was doing what x, y, and z are doing.” I have to remind myself, they didn’t get to where they are in life now overnight. They were 22 once, they had to make hard decisions once, they had to go through the wringer and a couple of wrong turns to get to where they are. It’s so easy to be attracted to someone who seems like they have everything figured out. You see them as a whole, as a pretty final product. You didn’t see the pain and suffering and the joy it took for them to get there. You just see what’s in front of you.
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